Just 18 months ago, I celebrated my 20th high school reunion. It was very well attended relative to past classes. I attributed the good attendance to Facebook, which I argued made it easier for everyone one to, a priori, know what fellow classmates were doing and what they looked like.

Subsequently, I have maintained contact, through Facebook, a number of classmates. One whom I was friendly if not ‘friends’ with in high school, Michael Miller, began chronicling his bout with a brain tumor on Facebook. I must admit that I was swept up in his status updates and felt that I had grown closer to him over the past year by writing a wall posting and personal note or two. It particularly hit home with me for two reasons – one, that a person my age whom I knew was ill; second, because my stepmother, Judy Palnick, had suffered from a brain tumor and had undergone a similar treatment. Judy recovered and is doing well.

Though as I checked my Facebook account last evening, I found out that Michael had passed away through another classmate’s status update. This, less than a week after his last status update. I went to Michael’s profile and read the wall of condolence notes — addressed as much to Mike as to his family and other mourners. It was as if he still lived on through his account; at least, that’s what I and other well wishers had seemingly dreamt and hoped. If only it were true.

It makes me wonder: is social media making it easier for friends and family to grieve, pay their respect and keep the memory of a loved one alive?

Jonathan Cohen