Calculating your Facebook Age… how the average age of all of your friends can be the most accurate indicator of youthfulness (not to mention hipness)
OK, I admit it. My first take on Facebook was that it was yet another tool for fancy free adolescents to while away the hours swapping abbreviated prose about love interests and outfits. Unapologetically, I proclaimed myself of the ‘Linked In Generation’- building my own little virtual sphere of professional influence- even landing my last job completely through LinkedIn connections. Then, at a college reunion, a few classmates whom I had not seen since senior year mentioned they were on Facebook. And so, as a means to maintain these rekindled connections, I posted a profile and began to ‘dabble’.
The first few weeks were filled with giddy reunions, spying on ex-boyfriends and increasing my adeptness at condensing 25 years of personal history into a three paragraph response message (using bullet points helps). Unlike my meticulously manicured LinkedIn persona, the Facebook me reflects a truer self- the eternal teenager who changes into ratty sweatpants the minute I get home from work, habitually lies to the dentist about flossing and read the Twilight series as if it were the bible.

And so, with quick glances at various friends’ statuses, I began to start my every day catching up on high school friend Ellen’s feelings on being mother to a teenager, whether Tim in Hawaii hit the yoga mat before heading to the beach or Rebecca in Tel Aviv’s latest political musing. Before long, I concluded that much as ‘those kids’ enjoy hooking up on Facebook, that we 40-something ‘grownups’ have our own agenda in joining up.
We are the first truly nomadic generation, traveling away from home for college, studying abroad and changing jobs, cities & professions without flinching. With a long string of once-forgotten acquaintances trailing through our histories, Facebook has become our generation’s personal social secretary meets historian. For us, it’s not about connecting, but reconnecting.
Over the holidays, my Facebook friend requests started popping up like Sale signs in store windows. Suddenly I was getting friend requests from people my aging mind had long forgotten. My personal theory is that the singular name Barshack (something I never considered an asset) made me easy to remember and ever easier to find. The many facets of my past- now so simply chronicled through my circle of friends- were augmented with long lost relations like my 5th grade summer camp bunk-mate, a fellow sophomore year exchange student and a co-worker from my first job as a coffee carrying production assistant. Each happy click of the ‘Accept Request’ button, felt like a new episode of This Is Your Life. (Although I have to say, there were a few requests that sent me looking for the ‘Are You Kidding Me?!’ Button)
Of course, I starting friending people on my own as well- at this point, mainly teenage relatives or children of acquaintances. I postulated that one’s Facebook Age (the average age of all of your friends) was the most accurate indicator of youthfulness (not to mention hipness). When Blaise- the 17 year old son of a French exchange student who lived with us in high school- finally accepted my request, I was down to a spritely Facebook Age of 31. …Until my 68 year-old aunt friended me. And then a neighbor recommended I friend her mother. Before I knew it, my inbox was flooded with requests from sunny low-tax locales like Boca, Tucson & Southern California.
Orignially baffled by this technology adoption trickling upward through the generations, my mother explained to me that she joined at emotional gunpoint when my brother informed her the only place to view his holiday pictures were on his Facebook page. Willing to climb mountains or even overcome technical phobias to see the latest pictures of their grandchildren, the AARP generation has now officially infiltrated a community that only a few years ago seemed to be solely inhabited by teenagers. For decades, ‘progress’ has been driving us further and further away from our tribal, multi-generations-under-one-roof ways. Now, technology is bringing us back together.
The pendulum of progress is swinging away from changing us to enabling us- within our busy, global, hectic, time deficient, modern lives to be ourselves again. Speaking of which, my Facebook Age these days is 42. ….and my mother’s is 39.
Randi Barshack