Growing up, most of us could rely on an overbearing parent to point out when we needed to mind our manners. Dear ol’ mom or dad could always call us out for interrupting someone, or opening our mouths full of mac n’ cheese, or for forgetting to send Aunt Dolores a thank you note for the bedazzled sweater.
Later in life, even if our parents happened to be etiquette-challenged, there were sources – like Miss Manners or the Emily Post Institute – available for a crash course in protocol, say, before an important job interview lunch:
- Water glass to the right directly above the knife. Check.
- Napkin folded in lap. Check.
- Restrain self from ordering clam linguine. Check.
Despite many resources to rely on for real-world etiquette, I’ve found myself in need of an expert to turn to for manners in the web’s social network setting. (And clearly, my parents can’t help in this situation.)

Some topics I’ve been contemplating are:
- Is it rude (or plagiarizing) when I like something that someone else has posted – to post it on my own Facebook wall? Do I give credit to the original poster?
- Just how well should I know someone before asking them to be a friend on Facebook or LinkedIn? And, in reverse, when is it acceptable to snub someone else’s friendship offer?
- When is an e-mail on Facebook best kept private as a message and when should you post on a person’s wall? (Or, to be more direct, how do I gently ask my mother-in-law not to posts comments on my Facebook wall asking about “her baby boy”?)
Besides myself, I know others in need of some education about social networking. At a recent girlfriend outing, one friend expressed her extreme frustration with another for SHOUTING at her in emails (by using ALL CAPS). Clearly, the recipient of the feedback was a little shell-shocked by the ambush. But, lesson learned.
In my search for etiquette answers, I was hard pressed to find an Emily Post-like expert (despite 653,000 Google results). Though, I did uncover a new term (well, new to me anyway): “Netiquette”. Unfortunately, this Wikipedia posting really only has a few email examples of etiquette.
Sadly, in my search, I never was able to find a Netiquette bible out there. Even on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter’s own websites, there are plenty of FAQ, how-to and safety facts available, but really little material covering etiquette. There were, however, a few random places I got good tidbits of info, some of which even answered my own personal questions:
- Wired Magazine “How to save Face on Facebook”
- CIO.com “Social Networking: Etiquette Tips for the Masses”
- The Times “Etiquette pitfalls in the social web of wannabe friends”
Combining all of these virtual social rules together might be a great blog opportunity for someone up to the task. Emily Post’s great-great granddaughter, Anna Post – are you reading this? (I’d friend her on LinkedIn, but that’d just be rude.)
Traci Armstrong